It has been a while since I’ve posted to anything – blog, social media, etc. Why? Because I’ve needed time to dig deeper into consciousness. In order to make space for learning and not get contaminated with outside views, I’ve kept very much to myself (aside from my usual schedule of giving readings or working on portraiture).
In my quest to understand Life with fresh perspective, several new realizations have occurred in which I feel more compelled to share versus keeping them held in.
As I’m sure everyone reading this blog knows, we each are creating our own world through the psychological frameworks we have adopted throughout our journey. This is nothing new in terms of information. Though our independent experiences are unique as result of these frameworks, there are several things we share that shape our singular “mental houses.” Much of this has to do with the language we use and how it structures thought; so it makes sense that if we share a common language, we will also attach similar meanings to the words, and thus how they form reality within our minds in a way comparable for us all.
I’ll have more to say about the limiting nature of language and its aftereffects at another time. But for now, let’s examine two words that are tripping us up big time in our experiences. The very definitions of these two words immediately invite discord and struggle, which in reality may not be true.
The two words (and their associations) are “flaws” and “imperfections.” We love to assign these to our perceptions of self, as well as others. However, though we place such negativity upon them, we need to understand them at a much deeper level to realize flaws and imperfections simply do not exist – at least not in the way we think of them.
You may think I’m crazy, but keep reading as I firmly declare:
FLAWS AND IMPERFECTIONS DO NOT EXIST.
Those are only perceived where a world is viewed in black/white, good/bad – the contrast of opposites, with one perceived as “right/correct” and the other as “wrong/incorrect.” In a world view that does not allow for grey areas, “flaws” and “imperfections” always fall on the side of “wrong/incorrect.” However, reality is not so black/white, meaning these two words really fall outside what should be considered accepted vocabulary.
Upon closer inspection, “flaws” and “imperfections” are really self-perceived gaps within one’s psychological landscape that appear “incomplete” or “out-of-harmony” in relation to other areas of the Self. These gaps are what provide for lessons, growth, and ultimate development. We cannot “grow” unless there is a perceived starting point and a place in which “to move.” If all areas of the psychological landscape were “finished,” no growth (or movement) would be available; no development of the Self would be possible. This is why these gaps – flaws and imperfections – exist, and why we incarnate into such a messy world. It only appears messed up because of all the psychological gaps where people are (hopefully) moving from ignorance into knowledge. Again, these gaps must exist in order for development to occur.
This makes us feel naturally (or unnaturally) uncomfortable. We don’t feel safe because we feel that such gaps are incomplete; they are out-of-harmony with what we know. Incompleteness invites potential discord – or worse yet, the psychological torture of perceived failure (not making the grade), when all is said and done.
An analogy would be an open wound on the skin.
As we grow and develop, a scab is formed and new skin is weaved in an area that was formerly seen as “incomplete” or “flawed.” However, until that sense of completeness arrives, our vulnerability feels like an open wound. Our skin is tender; easy to bruise. For this reason, it is vital that we approach ourselves with self-love and compassion. Just as we would be extra careful not to hurt or infect a wound, we must do the same with our psychological selves, as these areas of growth are the same as creating new sheathes of skin. They require delicacy. We can be “tough” and “hard” in other areas of our lives, especially those where we have more fully developed, more experience, and thus a “thicker skin.” But in these other areas, such intensity could be more harmful in the long run and damage the growth.
In other words, stop beating yourself up in areas where you feel vulnerable. You are growing to “close” a “gap” in your knowledge. Love and compassion is the only way to do this to where this development is healthy and not destructive.
Why are we doing this? To become a witness to the Self. Areas that are undeveloped and unexplored invite us to take a deeper look and examination of who and what we are – to view ourselves in a way that provides a greater experience and realization of our consciousness. If everything within were already complete, would you truly know your Self? It is only through direct engagement that we can truly became aware. Direct engagement needs a stimulus in order to entice the mind and spirit to move – thus these areas that seem incomplete or out-of-harmony, that we have termed “struggle.” These “unsolved gaps” force us to engage our Selves, growing our Selves, and thus becoming more deeply aware of who and what we are – a reflection of the Life Force itself.
To re-iterate, “flaws” and “imperfections” are words tied to a certain type of psychological framework. These words, upon inspection, are meant to make the thinker perceive the object that is flawed or imperfect as being “wrong” or otherwise “not right.” It completely ignores the purpose of the gap. Why is it “incomplete” or “out-of-harmony”? Simply to provide a space in which to focus and thus learn lessons – to grow. This is not negative or wrong, but rather the very act of something being presented to help reveal the nature and beauty of one’s spirit. One’s spirit, on occasion, must be coaxed out, otherwise we fail to perceive it and acknowledge it in its vast multidimensionality.
In this, gaps and areas of incompleteness provide an opportunity to reveal one’s spirit to one’s Self. How often we think we must reveal ourselves to others to justify our validity, yet we are really in need of justifying our validity to our Selves, and it is only through these areas of growth where such recognition can take place. This is why we must learn to embrace them rather than run; why we must learn to be compassionate and loving with our selves versus stern and unyielding. We are trying to bring completeness and harmony within our Self in these previously unexplored areas; they are tender and can be painful because we don’t have in-your-face obvious answers – we are having to pull them from our Selves in order to bring development and that sense of completeness and awareness to our Souls. If this were easy, all of us would be healthy, wealthy, and wise without effort. No, we are much deeper, much more multidimensional. We are attempting to approach harmony within all areas of the Self, meaning each “point” is in relation to other “points” within the Self, and we are trying to bring them all into balance. It’s not going to be easy; it is meant to reveal the depth of our Self to our awareness.
In this sense, we can celebrate our gaps of incompleteness or disharmony, because we know we are seeing our Selves; we are forced to being a witness to our Soul and thus gain a better chance to truly know who and what we are directly, versus a passive inkling.
Ultimately, there aren’t any flaws or any imperfections -- only areas in which to be a true witness to your spirit, through the movement of growth.
They (whoever “they” are) say physical incarnation is a school. We must ask: a school about what? The most logical answer: Life. And your own Life is the gateway – the access point – to that information.
Why do we go to school? To gain knowledge to prepare us for what’s ahead, after we leave school.
Where are you going after your life in the physical has ended – and what has it prepared you for? What’s next? Nobody really has all the answers there. No doubt, there will be more opportunities for development, but let’s hope we arrive with the best foundation in which to thrive in that next chapter.
Since we are here to learn lessons, there will always be a part of us that is in the “learning stage.” That means we must learn to be loving and compassionate toward ourselves at all times. We are growing, expanding, moving into new territory as knowledge is presented and we incorporate it into our consciousness. This must be done with love and compassion.
These lessons and the experiences connected to them are fresh, raw, and require delicate cultivation until they can fully mature into wisdom. Just as you would not stamp down on the stem of a new growing tulip, you cannot stamp out the unfoldment of consciousness and expect development to be positive and healthy.
When we can learn to love ourselves during the act of development, so, too, we can learn to bring compassion to others – as they are also in various stages of growth. Other people, like you, are spotted with tender new psychological and spiritual tissue. We do not need to know what areas they are working on, so long as love and compassion are given; it is like water and sunshine over the entire soil of their being. It honors the passage of their life, no matter what stage they are in.
“My vulnerability is an opportunity to see and experience my Self through the act of growth and development, perceived as areas of ‘incompleteness’ or ‘lack of harmony.’ I embrace myself lovingly and with compassion during this time of sensitive psychological skin.”